In an effort to boost my creativity I decided I needed to remember WHY it is that I create. It's difficult for me to find inspiration when I don't even remember why I'm looking for it.
So why do I write? In the past it has been to find a way to connect with others and to understand the world around me. I think that now it is also a way to understand myself and connect to the the world around world around me, rather than simply understand it. Words are a way for me to think through things acend to find passion in life.
Why do I dance? When I dance it's creating somet.hing out of nothing. You don't need paper, you don't need a pen. You don't even need a written or spoken language. Music is nice, but not required. All you really need to dance, on the most basic level, is you and how you feel.
Why create at all? Well, everyone wants to leave their mark on the world even if it seems insignificant. I'm no different. Creating validates our lives and draws us closer to God. Without the ability to create we also lack the opportunity to make the world our own and to see the actualization of our passions, our hopes, and our dreams. It gives purpose to learning and to going about our daily lives. It is a way to become more perfect.
I've been trying hard to utilize, enjoy, and expand upon my creative outlets. I made my first skirt yesterday and have jotted down a few blips of poetry. I have one final this semester and it is comprised of dancing the rumba. How fun is that? It's taken me the whole semester, but I'm finally relaxed and having fun! I have one paper to write. It will be a short paper on the dance concert I watched for class. I will enjoy analyzing the performances and putting my thoughts into words. I will have the chance to write and know there is someone listening.
I love the sacrament hymns the most. I no longer cringe at what I had previously deemed to be 'cheesy' Relief Society favorites, yet the songs of the sacrament speak to me with a depth that the majority of hymns fail to express. They speak of sacrifice, the life of our Savior, and of the truest and most uncorruptible love that ever might be found. They teach of eternity and of hope, and why the true potential of mankind, however infathomable, is realistically within our grasp. Sacrament hymns show us how to praise God and love one another. They show us how to know the Spirit and feel him near. They give us he strength and understanding to share his word with others without fear. Through this music families can be tied toegether and bonds strengthened forever.
For weeks I've been listening to this song over and over again, I just can't get enough of it! (Thankfully for the others I work with I don't play my music loud enough for them to hear!) It is the perfect song for Lovers who are dedicated to getting through opposition together! It is a song which speaks to me and says that there's no need to give up. When you find someone who loves you as much as you love them, and makes the effort to help you keep that feeling, it is worth holding on to. I believe that a man and a woman can be together forever and a big part of it is picking a person who believes that, too. Find someone you know is dedicated to you and to whom you want to be dedicated.
Of Course love isn't perfect, but it is wonderful! There's a part in the song that goes:
"Some days I don't feel like trying
Some days you know I wanna just give up
When it doesn't matter who's right
Fight about it all night
Had enough, you give me that look
I'm sorry baby let's make up
You do that thing that makes me laugh
And just like that..."
It doesn't take much for two dedicated people to keep the love alive. It takes a mix of humility, knowing who the person you love is and what makes them tick, and doing what you can to be a person worth loving. You don't need to be perfect to make love last--you need to care.
Obviously I feel the need to add a disclaimer that obviously both parties need to care, but I'm not going to babble about every possible situation. Obviously life is life and the possible situations and their possible outcomes are pretty much infinite and dependent on a lot of outside factors... But right now I don't care. Right now this blog is about me, and the difference love makes in my life and shaping who I am. I get to be in love and to be loved in return, and I choose to continue to love when things are rough. I decide to be receptive when the one I love humbles himself in front of me and forgive him as I know he will me. I want to feel his love and I want to be 'pulled right back in' because it feels good! I WANT to feel like that! I'm not going to make him work too hard for my love because then the relationship is a game, not a partnership. How can I expect to feel passion and desire from the one I love if I'm too stubborn and arrogant to let him love me?! God knows I'm a stubborn woman and I am grateful he sent me a patient man!
...Peaceful and Passionate, and Stunning and Strong. It should expand the entire being of those involved. It should be Laid Back but Fierce, and always Magical. It should involve a deep connection as well as a shallow one. All dimensions of the individuals should connect to make one. Love should make you so crazy that you never want to stand still and that you are constantly evolving, an so is that Love, and so that you cannot keep silent. Lovers should love each other for who they are but want them to be their best.
Love is desiring, connecting, wanting, waiting... Kind of a mix of "Hey, Soul Sister" (Train), "Your Body Is a Wonderland" (John Mayer), "A Nightingale Sang in Berkeley Square" (Nat King Cole, Harry Connick, Jr.), "Come On Get Higher" (Matt Nathanson), "Just The Way You Are" (Bruno Mars), "If I Had You" (Adam Lambert), and "Butterfly" (Crazytown). Oh, and for kicks let's just through in "Animal" by Neon Trees, because the feeling it expresses to me is that crazy franticness that come with loving someone everyday and wanting them over and over again throughout all the insanity. There is SO MUCH music that I could throw into the mix, but these are some of the basics for me... Yes, I know there are A LOT, but it's kind of like love itself--it has so many faces!
Hmmm... If you'd asked me to put my love to music when I was younger there'd have been a lot more hard rock. Interesting. But, like I said, love evolves.
So I randomly came across a song called "Journey to the End of My Life" by Allstar Weekend as I was searching for new music on playlist.com. It's pretty catchy and I think if you just want something to dance around to it's suitable, but then I started listening to the words. I think it is a song that plenty of people probably connect with but I found that the lyrics are somewhat different than what I want for myself. It talks about a kid who goes through their daily routines and thinks each night about what their life's purpose is. The narrator says "I wanna take a journey to the end of my life 'cuz I just wanna see what it's like" and "Do I turn out alright?" The song poses many questions and then states, "I don't wanna be surprised."
I don't wonder how I'm going to turn out. I decide who I want to be and I tell myself to get there. I will become who I need to be. I don't really care if I'm rich or poor or what's going on in the future, it will be there regardless of whether or not I see it. All you can really do is work hard to become who you need to be and for the causes you care about. I don't want to waste time worrying about what the future will be, I just do what I want to do and what I think is right. I waste too much time thinking about the past, the present, and what choices I should make in the here and now to be without worrying about what the world is going to be. Don't get me wrong, the future and doing what we can to mold it into something usable and special is important, but I'm not going to question how it's going to be, I'm going to make it happen. This isn't even about just having everything I want in life, like kids, jobs, cars, etc., it's about becoming what I want to be in life knowing that all else will fall into place.
I probably won't add this song to my playlist, but maybe someone else will relate. However, their song "Dance Forever" made it. I can hardly resist songs about dancing. They just energize me! I'm too serious, so I need all the help I can get to handle everyday life. :)
