Falling Stars

...to get more joy out of life. I just don't have enough fun, or savor traditions, or get excited about Autumn because it means turkeys and colored leaves, or Christmas because it means tradiditions and family and gingerbread men. Seasons, Holidays, Milestones... they don't have meaning. I didn't have set traditions growing up. Yeah, I had turkey somewhere every Thanksgiving, but aside from that nothing. There's nothing special there. I'm sick of disorder because all it means is that I focus on a mess, focus on cleaning, focus on muddling through it. I'm sick of drowning. I want more! I just want to live.