Falling Stars

I have had a very good bad morning. I left home this morning and remembered my lunch, and my wonderful hubby made me breakfast! I almost never eat breakfast and when I do it's usually too late in the morning that it spoils my lunch, because I'm not hungry when it's time to eat again. I left the house in time to get to work before 8 a.m. and open the office and have everything organized, and the drive over wasn't too bad... until I got to BYU. It was still pretty dark and there were a lot of bicyclists about. The thing with many bicyclists in Provo is that they think they are pedestrians and cars. They think they can drive about like a car but not have to give cars the right of way when it is not safe for them to go, or look where they are going whether or not they have the right of way. It is because of this that my morning went temporarily bad. A guy on a bike signaled and jumped out in front of my car, so I lightly beeped the horn at him. I would like to take the time to point out that I did NOT lay on the horn and that I made the conscious decision not to do so because I think that makes people jumpy and the situation becomes worse. I just wanted him to be aware that he did something that was unsafe for himself and others, because he obviously didn't realize that fact. I ALMOST HIT HIM. He had on a black sweatshirt (in the dark) and was nearly completely covered and had dark hair, and he was biking sans the required head and tail lights. He then proceeded to continuously give me the dirtiest, most incredulous look anyone has ever given me. After I pulled up to the red light (where he had gotten in the turn lane after crossing two lanes of traffic from the bike lane without pause) he was STILL giving me a dirty look. (Can I just say that, if he was going to stop at the red light anyway, he could have used the crosswalk and crossed without having to endanger himself or myself and the other cars that were behind me as I had to hit my brakes suddenly OR the cars in the lane next to me that couldn't see him either except I honked my horn and hit my brakes?) I then did something I have NEVER done, simply because he was still giving me that dirty look. I rolled down my window and (I'm not sure who opened their mouth first, maybe him, maybe me--) and I yelled so he could hear me, "I didn't see you! You can't jump out in front of traffic like that!" His response? "I signaled". (SO glad his face didn't freeze that way. He'd get shot by a gangster who thought he was giving that dirty look to him on purpose, or never get hired in the future because the employer would think that customers might be detoured from their business by his surly nature.) I rolled down my window and (I'm not sure who opened their mouth first, maybe him, maybe me--) and I yelled so he could hear me, "I didn't see you! You can't jump out in front of traffic like that! I didn't know what you were going to do!" His response? "I signaled!." His response when I said, "But you signaled when you were already in the lane!"? "That's why I signaled!" My final response to the non-receptive was, "Whatever" and rolling up the window. No point in wasting any additional breath.

Firstly, I really am glad he signaled because many people do not. HOWEVER, if I can't see a person then the signal doesn't really count, does it? If I am driving and I flip on my signal but the actual signal light is broken I'm still going to get a fix-it ticket, at least. Why? Because the people around me can't tell that I have just signaled. To them, I am just another car staying in one lane. If it is dark outside, I am wearing black, have NO lights on my vehicle, I stick my arm out (covered in black) to signal, I don't wait for a car to moderately halt its progression (a.k.a. show some hint that they've registered my presence in their consciousness), and THEN they hit me, did the signal count? Obviously it had no effect. Yeah, I'd be dead and that would be my consequence, but I would also be at fault for something else. The person who was careful and made an effort to make a safety bubble around them would STILL have killed me, and I would be responsible for them having to have the guilt of my death on their conscience, even though they had done everything in their power to be safe.

Let me just throw the question out there: Is it really that hard to be somewhat safe, to be courteous? If you care about the sanctity of life, you just don't do stuff like that. You don't put yourself at risk and you actually CARE that you could destroy the life of someone else by putting your life at risk. I know there are situations where things happen whether we want them to or not, but if you are intelligent enough to get into BYU, shouldn't you be intelligent to realize that biking in front of a car in the dark when you're wearing dark colors is not a safe practice and might frustrate others? Wouldn't you have more guilt than judgement when you did something to put others at risk?

I actually don't feel wrong in honking because I feel I did it to prevent accidents in the future and prevent current accidents involving the bicyclist and the cars behind me. I probably shouldn't have wasted the time or breath trying to explain why I was frustrated to someone who I could tell would most likely not be receptive. If I could go back I would probably freeze time except for us and calmly explain from a distance why I was upset. At least I wouldn't have yelled. The only guilt I have is for yelling, and possibly causing a disruption to the serenity some of the other drivers might have been experiencing. Not likely in Utah traffic, but still possible. SOME people are more enlightened than others. I cannot claim to be one of those individuals.

After I got to work, I took some time to gather myself. I was EXTREMELY furious at the situation that I could have been placed in. Furious, frustrated, angry... But I decided I'd calm down and then get on with my day. There is NO reason that I have to let someone else ruin my day. I used to be able to get over things really easily. I suppose I'm just becoming more stubborn and less flexible in my "old age" :-=. I'll get back there, though, because I've decided I will. I'm happy to report that my day has been great, aside from that incident. No more rolling down my windows to yell, though. You never know, the next time it could be someone scary with a gun. I definitely DON'T want that.

One last note, kind of amusing to think about for me: I wonder what that guy has been saying about me all day. I'm sure he got where he was going and spouted off a bit, as well. I don't suppose that he's gotten over it, considering the evil look he gave me and the length of time he gave it. Oh, well. Let him ruin his own day. I hope, though, that he'll get over it and maybe figure out why I did what I did. I mean, I wasn't trying to be a jerk, I wasn't being power hungry, and it wasn't because I was in a hurry. I just wanted to be safe.